


tremble for yourself,

by HappyCamper27



Series: The Plot Bunny Kennel [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Gen, Groundhog Day, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kinda?, Spoilers, Time Loop, also i'm playing through GD route rn so if this is inaccurate to BL or BR routes sorry, idk - Freeform, kinda? but also yes, look if you haven't played up to at least part 2 then you shouldn't read this, or do i'm not ur boss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-23 04:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20236774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyCamper27/pseuds/HappyCamper27
Summary: my man, you know that you have seen this all before--Or:Byleth has the power to turn back time.It only takes one mistake to get stuck.





	tremble for yourself,

If you’re perfectly honest, you don’t know when this all really started. 

Well, maybe that’s a lie--it always starts at the same point, the same place in time, like someone stuck a pin in a map.

But when was the first time? When did you start going  _ back _ to that pin, after walking up to it?

You can’t remember.

That’s okay though. You know it’s okay.

Everything is fine.

<strike> _ You’re lying. _ </strike>

\---

Okay, so maybe you don’t remember  _ when _ this all started, but you do know  _ how  _ it starts. And ends. And all those little bits in between--

Ah, off-topic? Right.

How it all starts. 

That’s simple: 

It starts with a dream--

\--and a girl on a throne.

\---

_ You know, you’re really very vexing. _

_ [ah, am I?] _

_ Yes! All tangled up like this--however did you even manage it in the first place? _

_ [...Wouldn’t you know better than I?] _

_ We are one, you and I. If I did, wouldn’t you? _

_ [...] _

_ Ah--but I’m...getting sleepy… _

\---

Walking to Garreg Mach for the  <strike> _ tenthtwentiethfortiethhundredth _ </strike> first time is...interesting. 

A solemn Prince, a proud imperial Princess, and a scheming lordling.

A fun group, to be sure, don’t you think?

As always, you ignore what you know of them, those whispers in your head--of the madness behind blue eyes, of the plans in a Princess’s head, of the dreams a lordling longs to make real.

Of the world you have made reality, time and time again, with each of them by your side.

Silently, you turn away from their cheerful, childish laughter.

Let them enjoy this time, their peace in great halls, grand balls and festivals and joy.

<strike> _ All too soon, peace will be a fleeting memory for them all, once again. _ </strike>

\---

You are never quite sure what to make of Rhea. She has done terrible things for a supposedly noble purpose, a childish longing made real by her own terrible power.

<strike> _ Seiros _ </strike> Rhea wants her mother back. Wants  _ Sothis _ to return to the earth, in all of her great and terrible splendor.

You...are not  _ Sothis _ . 

Never will be, even if you both are one and the same.

<strike> _ Seiros _ </strike> Rhea has never...appreciated this.

She looks at you and ever only sees the shade of her mother’s face, superimposed over your own. To her, you have never been  _ Byleth _ \--only a possible vessel. A tool, and maybe the return of the person she has conquered countries to revive.

Maybe, if she were the only one, you could be angry.

...she’s not.

\---

Edelgard sees you and sees  _ power _ ; a great and fearsome ally, to sway and lead to her side before her plans rip you all away. It isn’t until she gets to know what parts of you that you can express that she actually cares for the person under the power. 

Dimitri looks at you and sees  _ strength _ ; strength and support rolled into one, into a powerful ally and kind professor. But madness turns him possessive and cruel at turns; he must relearn mercy, and that takes much.

Claude looks at you and sees  _ use _ ; a pawn in all of his many schemes, someone who teaches him and puts up with his rowdy lot, and his reticence. But for one who proclaims to hate blind devotion, faith bleeds into him, leading always, always back to you.

They are all kind in their own ways, warm and faithful and wonderful people that you are grateful to have met. To have known their trust, and seen their dreams through by their sides. 

To walk your path alongside theirs.

But there is always the start, and never have they seen the full truth--you wait, and wait, and  _ wait _ , until the end, but you always hold the full truth back. Not just for moments, but for years.

You haven’t been truly  _ seen _ in many, many decades. 

Centuries, maybe.

Is it too much to ask--

To simply be seen?

\---

Some nights, you wake covered in cold sweat and a voiceless scream in your throat. Thinking of them, of the blood and death--

Thinking of Edelgard, demanding that you kill her, whispering as your blade falls--

<strike> _ {I wanted...to walk beside you--} _ </strike>

Of Dimitri, falling in his mad lunge for Edelgard’s throat, mad and vicious and--

<strike> _ {Where are you Edelgard?! I will not stop until I kill you!} _ </strike>

Of Claude, dying and falling from the sky, a streak of yellow--

<strike> _ {The dreams of men don't amount to much. Sorry, but... it's up to you now.} _ </strike>

Some nights, you roll back over. Close your eyes. 

Sleep.

Most nights…

Well. 

Hard to sleep when blood slicks your hands and horrors haunt your dreams.

\---

So, you suppose, it all starts like this, in the end:

You are trapped.

You go round and round in a loop, with different threads leading to different endings, living the same war to different ends over and over again.

You are not a person.

You are ultimately a tool of destruction, of death, of peace, of power--you do not love. You are incapable of it.

A symbol with thoughts is no less a symbol.

<strike> _ A weapon with emotions is no less a weapon. _ </strike>

You watch helplessly as people die around you, again, and again, _and again, <strike>and again</strike>\--_

You are useless, even in this.

So it starts, in truth, with this:

You live.

They die.

You grieve.

\---

...Oh? What’s that?

How does it end?

How it always does:

Never.

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently i am incapable of writing time loop fic without angst.
> 
> Also:  
I AM IN FE:3H HELL SEND HELP  
_my heart_, i love these kids so much


End file.
